Friday, October 9, 2009
Breakfast with a Zombie by Kerri Nelson
I’m a zombie and I still enjoy Lucky Charms for breakfast. Every morning I pour myself a bowl and think about how my life went from bad to worse in the blink of an eye. Or rather, in the flap of a bat’s wing, if you prefer.
I was an average everyday working girl before the one night that would forever change me. By working girl, I only mean that I went to a normal nine to five job as a bank teller every single day. Day in and day out, I put in my hours with no adventure and no change in routine.
Then, on the eve of Halloween, I volunteered to stay late at work to decorate for our bank’s Annual Check or Treat Event. That would turn out to be the worst decision that I ever made. So much for good karma being my reward for volunteer work.
I had just locked up the front doors and set the alarm after hanging streamers and taping festive pumpkin cut-outs to the windows. I was walking to my car when I noticed something that looked like a small child huddled by the corner of the building under the light from the ATM machine.
Thinking that this was more than just plain odd, I put on my Good Samaritan hat and went to check it out. When I arrived at the side of the trembling figure, I saw that it was sheathed in a black cloak. I bent down to take a closer look.
“Are you lost?” I asked tentatively, reaching out my hand to touch the poor child.
That was when the figure threw back the cloak and the red eyes stared back at me. The trembling was not fear but was instead laughter. I tried to jump back and away from the strange, ghoulish looking child but he grabbed my outstretched hand and bit me before I could move.
By the time I got home, I wasn’t feeling so well. After the monster child had bitten me, he’d run off into the night and I’d high tailed it home.
To say that I was feeling a bit freaked out by the whole thing would be putting it mildly. As I made my way to the safety of my own bathroom, I was not at all prepared for what I would see in the mirror.
The color had already begun to drain from my face and deep, dark circles appeared beneath my eyes. Panic began to flood through me as I felt a sickness roar through my body. I looked down at the bite on my hand and the small tooth prints were surrounded by dark black skin. My hand looked terrible and that was when I knew that I’d been infected with something bad…really bad.
My first instinct was to call an ambulance and I quickly made my way to the phone beside my bed. As I dialed the emergency numbers I tried to fight back the intense wave of nausea that suddenly wracked my body.
As my shaky hands tried to dial the three numbers that would bring help, I found it difficult to move the infected hand and my body shook uncontrollably in tremorous convulsions.
I felt a hot rush of something like fire rise from the pit of my stomach and then something wet rolled down the side of my face. Thinking that it was sweat, I pawed at it with the back of my good hand and when I returned the hand to my dialing task…I saw blood instead.
That was when I passed out cold.
When I woke, the smell of freshly dug dirt filled my nostrils and lungs. I tried to collect my thoughts but I was feeling confused and disoriented. I could hear a faint sound coming from a distance and it sounded like music.
No, it was someone whistling.
I tried to open my eyes but they stung. I tried to move but felt locked in place. My head hurt and I was extremely hungry.
Then, something sharp poked at my torso and I shifted to get away from it. My movement caused an avalanche of dirt to spill down around me and I began gagging and coughing. I tried again to open my eyes and then I saw a pale faced man standing over me with a shovel.
“There you are…” he said and as he smiled the greeting at me, I saw the white sharp fangs glisten in the moonlight.
As it turns out, his name was Montecarlo and he was a two century old vampire. He had a family of zombies that he routinely sent out to bring him meals. Human meals. The newest member of his family was a young boy zombie named Mitch and he was still learning the ropes.
Apparently, Mitch forgot that if he bit me that my blood would be totally useless to his boss. When a zombie bites you, they infect you with the zombie virus thereby making you a zombie as well.
That was just my kind of luck.
These days, I live a new sort of life. I still work nine to five but it is during the evening hours instead. I still work for a demanding boss and receive little reward for my efforts. I guess in a way I’m still a working girl but I don’t have to worry about money anymore.
In fact, I don’t have to worry about air or water or any other basic necessity either now that I’m a zombie. As far as eating goes, I’m told that zombies are supposed to crave human flesh, most particularly human brains, but the thought of ingesting that still sickens me. So, for now, I still eat Lucky Charms for breakfast.
© Kerri Nelson 2009